Before all the intense media coverage of the Jon and Kate marriage rumors, I never heard of Jon and Kate. Then I heard a lot more than I ever wanted. I mean, why do the media get so transfixed with faux celebrities? I heard about rumors of affairs by both of them. I heard that they have eight children, including sextuplets, which may be the advent of the fascination with them. I also suspect that Jon and Kate are exploiting their children for financial gain. No wonder they can’t stand each other. They are probably not exemplary human beings to begin with. Now Kate has filed for divorce.

Through all the press coverage, I never heard of any attempts Jon and Kate made to piece their marriage back together. I don’t know if they sought counseling or ever attended a marriage education class. It seems it got to the point that they couldn’t even talk to each other.

Children of divorce are much more likely to divorce. They were taught by their parents that it is better to bail on the marriage than to work to make it better. Children of divorce are more likely to drop out of school. Children of divorce have higher chances of being incarcerated. Children of divorce are more likely to live in poverty. Children of divorce have higher chances of committing suicide. After my parents divorced, my grades headed to Ds and Fs. A great fourth grade teacher snapped me out of my funk. Not every child of divorce is so lucky.

Marriages have survived infidelity, but it isn’t easy. There are great resources to help. Marriage/Relationship Education classes are research proven to be the most effective way to help couples. Resources can be found at: www.edhealthymarriages.org and www.smartmarriages.com. Since Kate and Jon are so wrapped up in themselves, they have probably given little thought to the consequences of their actions on their children. After all, they are commodities to them. I hope the company that puts them on the air pulls the plug on this train wreck. Maybe then, some adults can take over their family.

I begin my sabbatical in the desert. The Colorado Desert at Palm Desert to be specific. I am definitely not like the desert fathers. I am staying at a Marriott timeshare. Though I miss being home and with Suzie, there is something about a semi-solitude. The unit is nice, but barren of people. I have ventured out, Saturday night at Angels Stadium and Sunday in Joshua Tree National Park.

The desert fathers left civilization to be alone with God. But when people found out about them -- they went to them for spiritual advice. Even though they attempted a solitary life, they didn't get what they wished. They were seen as special. They found that it was easier to talk to God in isolation. Some actually spent considerable time traveling to cities and taught.

I did talk to the Angels fan next to me at the game and he didn't seem to mind sitting next to a Dodgers fan. (The Dodgers won, by the way.) A love of baseball transcends rivalry. Perhaps that is a key to human relationships. We never will agree on everything, but we can decide to be in relationship with one another despite those things that separate us.

I believe that what unites us is bigger than what divides us. With a few exceptions among us (sociopaths in particular), we want love and respect and self-worth and inclusion. But we live in a society that seems to value what separates us. Talking heads on radio and TV make a lot of money by telling half-truths to work people up to oppose"them" (who ever "them" is). They are evil. They are the anti-Christ. The reason they are the anti-Christ is that Jesus preached love and respect for all people. They are prompting the opposite. They promote hate and exclusion. If they say they are Christian, then they are worse -- they are liars and hypocrites. Jesus hated hypocrites more than any other group of people.

In the immortal words of Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along?" If such a flawed human being as Rodney King can get it right why can't the rest of us?

Last Saturday (6/13), I officiated at the funeral of Jane Hassler. Jane had suffered from Alzheimer’s for many years. In fact, I am surprised that she lived to the age of 91. She was in a local nursing home for at least the last eight years. So, I knew her about two years before she was institutionalized.

When I first met her, she was a pistol! She had a big smoker’s laugh (or was it a hack). She drove a big car (the make and model I don’t remember, ironic, huh). This seemed to be for her own protection, because she was prone to run into things. No one wanted to be in the church parking lot when she was driving in or out. Her driving skills (or lack thereof) were a parish legend.

But it was obvious that she was losing her faculties. She had no immediate family nearby. She had two nieces that would visit from time to time. They made a parishioner Jane’s legal guardian. Jane had no children. First, her car was taken away and her guardian would drive her to church. Other parishioners would also drive her around. Jane was less than happy about this circumstance. She let everyone know how unhappy she was. One day when she was cooking and almost set her house on fire, it was decided that she could no longer live on her own. She was then institutionalized.

She was initially very unhappy about losing her home and living in a nursing home. She was disruptive to other patients and staff. She refused to leave her room. Then something happened. It was as if a switch was turned (on or off) in her head. She suddenly became cooperative and happy. When I would visit her, she had a big smile on her face, even though she had no idea who I was. But she did recognize my collar. She would think that I was another priest and would call me by that name. One time when I gave her a communion wafer, she looked at it and said, “What’s this for?” (People without Alzheimer’s might ask the same thing.)

All of this is leading to how we grieve over the death of an Alzheimer’s patient. At one time I thought that I would not be able to emotionally handle my grandmother’s funeral. But after a series of stokes that took away her mind, it was a relief when she died. For me, she no longer suffered in a world she did not know. My father died of a stroke a few years after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. For his death I had mixed feelings of grief and joy. It was very confusing.

Alzheimer’s patients go back in time as the disease wears on. There is no short term memory. Dad would watch old reruns on TV and said, “They’re all new to me.” And as I reflect on Jane’s death, I see it as a blessing. Even though she was not cognizant of her disease, her world is no longer as confusing as it was. She had a big impact on some of her family members. Jane will be missed. But now she lives a life in joy, peace,and total love. She now knows what we will know, one day. Her life is now glorious.

In my Pentecost sermon (http://oursaviourpv.org/sermons.aspx), I talked about a book co-authored by Albert L. Winseman, D.Min. The book is Living Your Strengths. At the back of the book is a code to be used to take an online inventory that will identify our “signature themes.” Albert works for the Gallup organization. Gallup research has found that we can only marginally increase our weaknesses, but we can exponentially increase our talents. There are only one in 33 million people who have our ranked signature themes. And we are unique in the world for our ranked 34 talents. In every congregation every person brings unique talents or gifts to further the kingdom of God. Our job is find out what they are and do them.

There are five clues to a talent: 1) Yearning (drawn to a activity), 2) rapid learning (get it quickly), 3) flow (do something automatically), 4) glimpse of excellence (did it well and didn’t know how it was done), and 5) satisfaction (do it again). A talent becomes a strength when knowledge and skill are applied.

A signature theme is the top five, ranked, talents or strengths a person has. The inventory, the Clifton Strengths Finder, has 34 talents or strengths that people possess. A report of your signature themes can be printed from the web site. But you have to buy the book to get the code to take the inventory.  

My signature themes are: relator, achiever, intellection, learner, and focus.

There is something everyone does that is better than 10,000 other people.Another question every Christian should ask himself or herself is, ”If time and money were no problem, then what would you do for God?”

I recently saw an article on MSNBC.com (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30808963/from/ET/) about couples either kindling or rekindling their marriages. The assertion is that dull marriages can wreck a marriage. Couples need to do new and/or exciting things together to keep the flame going (continuing the fire metaphor). They said, “Experts say that shared challenges and exciting diversions are what make relationships hot long after the wedding gown has been packed up and stored away. And the opposite, boredom and a dull, daily routine, can kill a marriage, squashing intimacy and romance.”

The findings are based on research conducted at State University of New York at Stony Brook. “The researchers found that boredom at the seven-year mark strongly predicted future unhappiness and loss of intimacy nine years later.” Rutgers research shows that the part of the brain that registers during dating still registers in long-term happily married couples. And brain chemistry is effected, principally with an increase in dopamine. Dopamine increases cause the pleasure centers of the brain to light up.

Helen Fisher of Rutgers suggests couples who want to keep their marriage passionate to, “Marry the right person, have sex with them regularly, and go out and do novel, exciting things with them. What kinds of activities does Fisher suggest? ‘Anything that’s new or interesting — or even slightly dangerous — will help sustain feelings of romantic love,’ she says. ‘And it will certainly kill feelings of boredom.’”

All this does is reaffirm two known principles of marriage: 1) it is work and cannot be taken for granted, and 2) joint activities help couples feel close to one another. (The primary ones are communication and knowing how to resolve conflict.) The trick is to find what both of you would like to do together and then do it. The way you find that out is by talking to each other and through knowledge of your partner’s likes and dislikes. The latter also happens by talking to each other. And last step is crucial – DO IT!

Ralph Milton writes books and a weekly religious listserv piece called, RUMORS. Below is his story of his experience in Canada (his residence) after a cardiac event.

Rumors - I thought it was a bit of heartburn. I headed for the bathroom medicine cabinet and popped a few antacid tablets. Then I began to feel a bit dizzy with a strange warmth around my neck.

The next thing I knew I was lying on the floor, my head on the bathroom scale (No, I didn't check to see how much it weighed!) and I was looking up at Bev who was talking to the 911 dispatcher.

Two days later, as I walked toward the elevator from the hospital cardiac unit, the duty nurse walked with me. She gave me a big hug and wished me well. And I thanked her for her tender care, as I had thanked all the other generous care-givers in the hospital.

You don't want to hear all the details of what happened in that interval. The angiogram is not a painful process, but also not my first choice of recreational activities. I want to share the sense of profound gratitude for the grace and care that I experienced.

Throughout it all, there was Bev, still caring for and loving the geezer she's been married to for half a century. And family. And friends. And people in the hospital. The hospital is understaffed, underfunded, and short of space. I spent the first night in the corridor. But the people themselves - the nurses, doctors, and other staff - are kind, caring and gentle.

I am also profoundly grateful to a Baptist minister named Tommy Douglas who entered politics so he could bring about a universal medical care system in Canada. At no point did Bev and I need to worry about whether we could afford an air-ambulance ride to Vancouver for a by-pass operation. Or whether our medical plan would cover the angiogram. Or the multiple blood tests. Or two nights in hospital.

Our national health plan suffers from the neglect of governments who are more interested in roads than in public health - more concerned about the 2010 Olympics than about the education of our children.

But the system itself works. It does not need replacing. It is so very much superior to the profit-based system which I encountered in the US when I fell on my face in January. For that I am profoundly grateful, (for the medical system, not for mashing my nose) and for which I thanked God many times during those two days of lying in bed waiting for another test or procedure.

So yes, I had a small heart-attack a week ago last Thursday.

Emphasis on small. The arteries are all clear, with a tiny bit of gunk in a couple of places. And I have a bruise on my groin the size of a dinner place because they had a hard time getting the bleeding to stop after the angiogram. But the cardiologist said, "You have a healthy heart. Now we just need to make sure you don't have a more serious event."

That healthy heart is full of joy and gratitude. For family, friends and medical care givers. For a faith in God who stands by our side and holds our hands through all of life, but especially in times like this.

I'm also thankful for you.

Yes you.

Individually and collectively.

Because some 7,735 of you receive Rumors and do me the honor of reading my words. So I have the graceful gift of a vocation.

"By amazing grace I have been saved through faith, and this is not my own doing. It is the gift of God." (Ephesians 2:8)

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Information and Stuff - (Read this section only if you want to know about subscribing, unsubscribing or quoting stuff from Rumors.)

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Please Write -

If you respond, react, think about, freak-out, or otherwise have things happen in your head as a result of reading the above, please send a note to:

ralphmilton@woodlake.com

Who knows, I might quote you in a future issue of RUMORS.

All material is copyright C Ralph Milton.

A recent survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life noted that at least half of all U.S. church goers have switched their religion at least once. Then they noted that estimate may be conservative. So, roughly half of us who were raised in the church have switched from our childhood denominations of our parents. Talk about rebelling!

Most believed their spiritual needs were not being met. (Of course, who knows what that means?) Switches, typically, were made before the age of 36. More Catholics than Protestants switched. (I hear prayers for immigration and more babies!) Many switched simply because they moved to a new town and another church was more convenient.

Many left and never signed up for another church. Frequent reasons were: hypocrisy (welcome to the human race), too many rules, and too much focus on power and money. Many just simply drifted away in adolescence or young adulthood and stayed away. A few, a very few, tried other religions and returned to the faith of their youth.

A very interesting point was that Christian education and/or youth groups had no effect on retaining young people. But participation in worship services did have a slight positive effect.

The challenge for the church in this country is how to be relevant to a new generation of people who call themselves spiritual, but don’t necessarily see religion as a way to feed their spiritual hunger. These are, typically, “post-moderns” who see a world of multiple truths. They can’t even comprehend a church who claims to be a “one true” church. (I will blog later about the emerging, post-modern church. This is a church that is very different than the one we have now. But we do not yet know what that will look like.) How do we preach the gospel-truth in a multiple truth world? I believe that God never gives up on us. God’s love is too great for that. In other words, if we don’t respond to God in this life, we will have the opportunity to do so in the next life.

Unfortunately for me, I will not live long enough to see the end of this transition. But the ride to that point will be interesting.

I was intrigued by reading an article that said that, even though Israel has confirmed cases of Swine Flu, they don’t have Swine Flu. They have Mexican Flu. Swine is not kosher in Israel.

Kosher or not, Swine Flu is becoming a greater problem in the world. The World Health Organization (WHO) [would a doctor there be Dr. Who?] has made this calamity a stage four alert. They have never had a stage four alert before (stage six is a pandemic). It is amazing as the number of cases continue to increase in this country and infected people in other countries are continually being discovered.

As Christians, we are not to respond in fear. We are to respond in loving-kindness to do what we can to help those infected (and others who are sick, too). Jesus taught us how to go were others fear to go. To heal where others fear to heal. With God on our side, who can be against us? How can they prevail? Even if “they” is a microscopic bug.

(Original post was 4/29. As of late 4/29, we are now at a stage five alert.)

The Rev. Richard Losch had an interesting take on where we are as church these days in the December 14, 2008 edition of The Living Church. He begins with some background on the nature of sin. He then provides an example of how we have tried to ask for forgiveness for racism. He notes how the Episcopal Church is, once again, in a process of self-flagellation over the sin of racism (my words, not his). Fr. Losch notes, “If we are only now getting around to repentance for that sin (racism), then anything we do is too little and too late. If we have truly repented for it in the past, then by what arrogance do we approach God as if he has not already heard our plea and forgiven us? Do we or do we not believe in the forgiveness of sins?” He goes on to state his thesis, “we are living in the past.”

I agree. I mean, how many times do we have to ask for forgiveness for the same sin? Through this institutional guilt that some carry around, we hear from General Convention over and over again how we need to ask forgiveness for this sin and do penance with mandatory anti-racism training. (The trainings I have participated in were never very good.) The best anti-racism event I ever attended was watching the DVD for “Crash.”

I am a third generation American. My ancestors were from Europe and were not engaged in slavery. I don’t believe I should apologize for an institution that neither me nor my ancestors ever participated in.

Having said all of that – we and I can still be racist. As a society, we are getting better with the issue of racism, but it is still part of America. We seem to be infected with a need to make whatever group we are part of to feel superior to another group of our choosing. When I was young, racist remarks were okay in many circles. Today, it would be hard to find a group where that would be acceptable, though they are out there and there are many of them.

Since racist remarks are, typically, not acceptable, racism then tries to go underground. This is in many ways much more insidious. It is harder to grab a hold of to lift it up to the light of day. It sneaks around and is more subtle. It hides in the shadows. This is the racism that needs to be addressed by the church and others. This is a hard infection. It needs an effective vaccine.

General Convention mandating anti-racism training isn’t going to cut it. In general, the people who need to attend never will. What is needed is a program of parochial initiatives that would include sermons, forums, classes (for all ages), and print information that can be distributed to people. Ways for people to take advantage of Reconciliation of a Penitent needs to be encouraged.

I believe this would be much more effective in combating racism in the church. Ministry happens in the parish, not at General Convention.

We are in the midst of the greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression. I think it is likely that, in retrospect, this will be called a depression. (The Great Depression is called “Great” to distinguish it from other smaller depressions that the United States economy suffered at other times.)

The word depression is used in several contexts. Above, it used in an economic context. It can also be used in an emotional/psychic context. Think of Jesus’ mother, Mary, and the other women who watched Jesus die a slow, agonizing death. That was depressing. Burying Jesus was depressing.

But the good news is that Jesus didn’t stay in the tomb. Jesus was raised to new life. Jesus was resurrected. Jesus lives on. So it is with the economy. This recession/depression will end. There will be new life in the economy. The economy will receive a new life.

Whether it is the economy, the death of a loved one, a loss of a job, a loss of a beloved pet, these and many other trials and tribulations that we receive in life and our sad feelings about these events will end. There will be resurrection. There will be Easter. This is good news!

Every one of us will die. But death is not the end of us. Jesus broke the bonds of sin and death. A new life awaits us. We celebrate Easter to celebrate this good news. Jesus lives! Our troubles are gone! Not even “death … can separate us from the love of God.” (Romans 8:38-39)

Ironically, Easter is a German goddess. The church in England appropriated the name of the goddess for the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection. (In most Christian places, Easter is called Pascha or some variation of that word.) The goddess’ festival is during the vernal equinox and the fourth month of the Germanic calendar is named for her. Easter is the goddess of spring and of dawn. The church shifted the pagan celebration of spring to the celebration of the Jesus’ resurrection.

Easter is not one day. It is fifty days, with the last day being Pentecost. (In the US, we tend to compress things like celebrating the twelve days of Christmas on one day.) Though every Sunday is a celebration of the resurrection, the Easter season focuses on Jesus’ resurrection and we contemplate the hope, given to us by Jesus, for everlasting life for all of us. This is good news indeed.

When we die, we give up everything we have. We give up our bodies. We give up our possessions. We give up our money. We give up everything, because we then join Jesus in eternal blessedness and love. The things we hold to dearly in this life become trivial and meaningless compared to a life of total love. All of the needs we have in this life disappear.

All that we have are God’s. God knows we have needs in this life. God does what can be done to help us meet those needs. In the next life, we are relieved of those needs.

When the time of our death comes, how will we dispose of those things we have but no longer need? Since they ultimately belong to God, why not remember the church in our wills and trusts? It would be a thanksgiving for our entry into eternal blessedness. It would be a way to honor God for God’s great gifts. In addition, anyone with minor children should name a guardian in case the child’s parents meet Jesus prematurely.

Jesus’ resurrection changed the world. From that event, Jesus’ followers spread Jesus’ message and the story of the resurrection throughout the world. Let us celebrate Easter during the great fifty days, giving thanks to God for the promise of eternal life.

Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams said recently that God will not save mankind from his own environmental "stupidity." He also said we are in danger from, “"a whole range of doomsday prospects," ranging from global warming to threats from what he called "bio-terror" weapons. The ultimate tragedy is that a material world capable of being a manifestation ... of divine love is choked, drowned or starved by its own stupidity. To suggest that God might intervene to protect us from the corporate folly of our practices is as un-Christian and un-biblical as to suggest that he protects us from the results of our individual folly or sin."

He is theologically correct. Adam and eve got kicked out of the garden for folly. Israel went into permanent exile through folly. Judah went into exile in Babylon through folly. God doesn’t always bail us out. Our God-given free will can lead us into paths of our own destruction. And we are given free will to be in relationship with God. God loves us. We can only respond to God’s love if we give our love freely. Love cannot be coerced. So, if we destroy ourselves through our own greed and stupidity, then we will die.

The good news is: that God always loves us. We don't’ have to earn it. Judah was restored. Eden will be restored by us through the Holy Spirit. Jesus called this the kingdom of God. But we can’t get to the kingdom of God if we produce weapons of mass destruction and if we pollute God’s world so much that species die off and it gets so hot that humans beings can no longer live here.

God gave us this planet to care for it and all that dwells therein. We have not done an exemplary job of it. But we can change. We can repent. We can do better. But we better start now. This isn’t something that procrastination will heal.

How we do health care insurance in our country is an accident of history. For many years health care payments was on a pay-as-you go system. You saw your physician (or the physician saw you in those days) there would be a fee and you paid the fee at the time of service. Depending on your situation, the payment might have been in a good (like a chicken) instead of cash.

In the 1920s, health care costs began to be higher than most people could pay. This inspired the invention of Blue Cross. Originally, Blue Cross was more of a community organization than it was an

insurance company. Affording health care became more of a problem during the Great Depression. Seeing Blue Cross’s success insurance companies then began to offer medical insurance.

Next comes the accident of history. During World War II, companies seeking a way around government wage controls began to offer medical insurance as a way to recruit employees. If benefits were also frozen, we might have never been dependent on employer paid health insurance. Of course, with employer paid health insurance, with no over all coordination of what is reasonable prices for health care and medicine, those prices began to sky rocket. It’s a lot easier to be paid by an insurance company than it is to get a chicken. Health Maintenance Organizations (HMOs) began in the 1970s to address the inherent inefficiencies in our health care system and to emphasize prevention rather than the much more expensive fix it after it’s broke system. An other factor made this a bigger mess. Blue Cross was originally a non-profit. HMOs were originally non-profits. Now health insurance is, largely, a for-profit enterprise.

Now more and more Americans are without health care insurance. The emergency room becomes their health care provider. This is driving the cost of health care even higher. More and more Americans are filing for bankruptcy due to crushing medical bills. This is a spiral that is getting out of control and is draining the economy of our country. Health care threatens our ability to get out of the current recession.

Time Magazine offered the following solution to our health care coverage nightmare. 1) Cover everyone. This would reduce the per capita costs and drop premiums for everyone. 2) Offer free screenings for typical at risk diseases, reducing the costs of treating these diseases after the fact. 3) Pay doctors to keep us healthy, reducing the costs of after the fact treatments. 4) Hospitals should specialize instead of trying to offer every possible treatment and those who can’t compete should be allowed to fail. 5) Go paperless. This would produce fewer errors and duplicate tests, saving a ton of money.

The way we pay for health care is highly inefficient and is highly unfair. Jesus pointed a way to health and healing for anyone. Can’t we keep Jesus’ vision alive?

The news media the last few days have told us about the recent ARIS (American Religious Identification Survey). In this survey, people stating no religious preference grew from 8% to 15% in the United States, since 1990. The number of Christians dropped from 86% to 76% since 1990. Only Catholics and Baptists have a higher percentage than “none.” Even then, both of these groups have also declined, even given Catholic gains from immigration. That is a significant drop. This is also in spite of the few mega-churches that pack in people by the thousands and in spite of all of our evangelism attempts. It would seem that the US is becoming secular like Europe.

In one generation, those claiming to be Christian dropped 11%. The gainers include: Muslims, “Spiritualists” (whatever that means), Wiccan, and Mormons. More Christians are identifying themselves as non-denominational. Maybe that’s a sign that one day we all maybe one.

Barry Kosmin, co-author of the study said, “Today religion has become more like a fashion statement, not a deep personal commitment for many. If a personal God says, 'Thou shalt not' or 'Thou shalt' (people) see these a certain way, you'd take it very seriously. Meanwhile, three in 10 people aren't listening to that God." Certainly, the mega-churches were designed for these kind of people. But it doesn’t seem to be working. Bill Hybels of Willow Creek now acknowledges that the traditional mega-church model is not making disciples. So, he is changing how they do church.

Twenty-seven percent indicated that they would not have a religious funeral. This jives with what I see in the obituaries in our local paper. Only here, I would say that the majority of people do not have a religious funeral. (But then again, California has always been al little godless.)

Some people in the survey identified themselves as evangelicals. It was unknown what that exactly meant. It seems that everyone has their own definition of being an evangelical. I know that many are Calvinists, but some are Armenian. So there would not be a theological conformity among all evangelicals.

Evangelicals are quicker to adapt to the culture than Anglicans. We are bound to a prayer book, which leaves little maneuvering room. And then when we do change the prayer book, all hell breaks loose. People wonder why the Episcopal Church continues to lose members. Well, the above study results are one factor. Another factor is that we resist making prayer book changes. There other factors as well.

For all Christians, the ARIS results should be a wake-up call. We are not getting our message over to people. Even people who grew up in the church are leaving, believing that we are irrelevant to their lives. I think we need to be more explicit in sharing the message of God’s love. God loves us and wants to have a relationship with us. Christians need to exhibit unconditional love for, at least, other Christians, if not all people. But we cannot even love other Christians. We fight. We call each other names. We are less than kind. We sue each other. We condemn people. Then we wonder why the number of Christians in the US is declining.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about our country’s broken health care system. In just those two weeks, even more Americans are without health insurance. This means more pressure on our emergency rooms, which means higher medical premiums for those of us fortunate to have insurance.

We know that Jesus healed many people. He also didn’t heal everybody. We know that there are people with a gift for healing. Of course, they don’t heal everybody. We know that people, for whom doctors gave up on, were healed. Because of all these “we know”s,

there are people who have tried to study, under controlled conditions, if prayer heals or least gives comfort to patients. Since 2000, there are over 6,000 studies of intercessory prayer. Some of the early studies showed remarkable benefit for patients who received prayer. Studies since then seem to indicate little to no improvement in patients who received prayer.

But studies show that people who attend church regularly live longer than those who don’t. People who believe in a loving God fare better after a diagnosis than people who don’t. Spirituality predicts better disease control according to Dr. Gail Ironson of the University of Miami. (Time Magazine) There are scientific explanations for these things. Parish Nurse programs and hormone levels effected by church attendance can account for the above findings.

One thing researchers seem to agree on – our brains are made to be compatible with spirituality. As I have always said, we are spiritual beings. Prayer changes the way the brain functions. A nice side effect is that prayer improves memory function.

What is important is that our health care is a multi-disciplinary system. Science and faith are both necessary to live a healthy, happy life. We pray for people because human beings can’t do everything. We ask God to intervene. How and why this happens or doesn’t happen is way beyond my understanding.

Learn to savor how good the Lord is; happy are those who take refuge in him. (Psalm 38:4, NAB)

We are now in the season of Lent. Many people stop a behavior during Lent as a spiritual discipline. Lent is a penitential season in preparation for Easter. Giving up something is an ascetical practice. In a way, Lent is our way of doing New Year’s resolutions.

But when we examine the historical roots of Lent, which means spring in Anglo-Saxon German or Old English, we find that it was originally a period of preparing people for baptism. It was a time of intense instruction.

As we recovered the ancient tradition of Lent, we began to encourage people to take something on rather than give something up or do both. Taking something on can mean a more intense spiritual practice or studying. It is the latter reason Our Saviour has a history of adding a Lenten class.

This year, our Lenten class is The Practice of Prayer, based on the book of the same name. (See the article elsewhere in this newsletter.) It is held on Thursday evenings at 7 PM following our traditional Lenten soup suppers. So one could take something on by doing this study, increase his or her spiritual practice, and give up a regular dinner with soup. The bases would be loaded – adding a spiritual practice, studying, and giving something up! It is now up to you to step up to the plate and hit the home run.

God’s love for us is unbounded. One way we can respond to this great love is learn more about God and God’s ways. Some of this learning we can do at home. But some can only be done in community. We can hear the voices of writers and we can hear and respond to those voices from the voices of our friends, adding our own voice. That can be a lot of talking! But it also requires a lot of listening.

I am required to see to it that the people of this parish receive Christian education. I just need to see that it is done, whether it is by me or someone else. Since teaching is one of my gifts, I enjoy leading classes for you.

Remember the words of the Psalmist above. What will you take on this Lent? What new thing will you learn?

A number of years ago I wrote about our broke health care system. Since then, I continue to be amazed at people making comments about how we live in a country with the best health care in the world. I'm not sure if they are dealing with old information or if they have bought into the health insurance industry propaganda.

Here are the facts (source Time Magazine 12/1/08):

1) The U.S. spends far more on health care than any other nation.

2) Yet the U.S. is not healthier for the money. We live shorter lives and have a higher infant-mortality rate than many other developed nations.

3) Although smoking has been in the the decline, Americans still don't live healthy lives.

4) The good news is that more Americans and better treatments are curbing America's top killers.

5) Millions of Americans are at risk because they don't have insurance or easy access to a doctor.

Many times I have heard stories about how hard it is to get health care in the UK or Canada. I'll bet that not one person personally knows if any of the stories are true. They merely heard Rush Limbaugh say it is true. If other countries health care is so bad, why is it that Americans living near the Mexican border see Mexican doctors and dentists? Why is it that Americans who live near the Canadian border see Canadian doctors and dentists? Why is it that Americans travel to Europe and Asia to receive health care and especially surgeries?

Health care in this country is broke.

We Americans observe an unofficial holiday called Valentine’s Day. It is a day for gift giving to a special someone in your life. This day is named after St. Valentine. But St. Valentine has never been recognized by the Episcopal Church. This is because there is some doubt about his existence.

St. Valentine is known as a martyr. Actually there are two obscure stories about two different St. Valentines. One was in Rome. When he healed and converted the daughter of a Roman magistrate, he was beheaded. The other was a bishop of Terni in Italy. He went to Rome to cure the son of a philosopher. The bishop would cure the son only if the philosopher’s family converted to Christianity. They did and the bishop did. When the prefect heard about it, the bishop was beheaded.

In the Middle Ages, it was believed that birds paired up on February 14^th. That began the custom of sending valentines.

Regardless the vague reference to a historical St. Valentine, the saint’s day is, by custom, a day for lovers. Some time ago, there began a movement to observe Marriage Week around February 14^th.

For the third year in a row, the El Dorado Healthy Marriages Coalition, www.edhealthymarriages.org, will observe marriage Week with two events. The first will be a couples’ dance at Green Valley Community Church on Friday, February 13^th. There will be food, dancing, and prizes. Tickets are available at Green Valley Community Church.

The second event is the renewal of wedding vows at Our Saviour. This will take place at 6:30 PM. Following the service there will cake and coffee. This is available to all couples.

We will continue to run relationship education classes at Our Saviour. In addition, there are always classes at other sites. These classes are found at the El Dorado Healthy Marriages Coalition web site.

Every couple can benefit and can improve their marriage by attending at least one marriage education class per year.

The special things we do for our loved ones for Valentine’s Day can and should be done throughout the year.

To call today a historic day is already becoming a cliche and on many levels is an understatement. President Obama recalled slavery and the racism it spawned in his inaugural address. People who were part of the Civil Rights movement during the 1960s were present for the President's inauguration. For someone my age, the 1960s doesn't seem all that long ago. Because of that perspective, I think it is amazing that we would witness this day an African-American President of the United States. I join with many people in the hope that racism in this country can have another major turn toward its abolishment.

I also hope that President Obama and his family can provide the kind of role models that is needed in the African-American communities in this country. Currently, only about one-third of African-American families have a married mother and father. As the President said in a speech on Father's Day in 2008 that black men must take responsibility for their children. Children thrive when a married father is in the household. Their problems are much reduced. This true of all ethnic groups, but African-American families are more profoundly effected.

As I write this, Senator Ted Kennedy suffered convulsions and was taken away from the Capitol Building in an ambulance. My prayers join many others for him and his family. My prayers are for President Obama and our government as they confront some very difficult problems.

Those "in the know" (mainly divorce lawyers) called last Monday, January 12th as D-Day, as in Divorce Day. It was expected that more requests for divorce would be made on that day than any other day in the year. There are several reasons. One, January is typically the month with the most divorce filings. Couples who are contemplating divorce put it off for the holidays so they will have one more holiday before they split up. Many of these couples have kids. The second Monday of January is the first Monday after the kids go back to school.

Two, for this year, the economy influences the timing of the call to a divorce lawyer. When a couple is under financial strain, their relationship usually comes under strain. Money, or a lack thereof, becomes the focus of their relationship and they forget to do those things that they like to do together. Sometimes, they fail to imagine what they can do with less money and still make those experiences enjoyable for both of them. The time they once spent enjoying each other is replaced with arguing and/or pouting. Seeing that the new year looks as bleak or bleaker than the previous year for their relationship, they file for divorce.

In spite of these things, there is hope! Marriage or Relationship Education classes can do a great deal in helping couples cope with the stresses they face and kindle a love that has faded. There are many classes. Locally, the best place to look is at the El Dorado Healthy Marriages website, www.edhealthymarriages.org.

I am currently being trained in a new course called, Money 1 to 1. I will schedule teaching this course later in the year. This course teaches money management and how money effects relationships.

Divorce does not have to be an option. People fall in love and get married. There were reasons for a person to marry another person. Those reasons are still there. Couples can be helped to rekindle those reasons. Relationship classes are proven by research to be very effective in accomplishing this.